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Various Artists

The Best of Taste of Chaos

Contributor: Jacob Fink

What happens when a commercially viable music tour, geared to 16-to-24-year-old American males, is remotely successful? A compilation album must be made. The Taste of Chaos music festival tour is a more "hardcore" version of the Vans Warped Tour. Sponsored by Rockstar Energy Drink, this showcasing of lifestyle kicks serious homo-erotic butt.

As for the music: Any listener familiar with the semi-indie bands on the compilation -- Story of the Year, Rise Against, Avenged Sevenfold, Thursday, Thrice, Rise Against -- knows what's in store when listening to this excruciatingly repetitive double album. Angry music for sensitive teens. See Matchbook Romance's "In Transition for You."

Most of the album sticks to the tried-and-true emo formula, with a sprinkle here and there of either punk (screaming vocals [first CD]) or metal (growling vocals [second CD]) influences. But every fucking chorus is sung by the whiny emo vocalist of the groups. See Avenged Sevenfold's "Burn It Down."

Some noteworthy additions include:

• Dillinger Escape Plan's "Unretrofied" -- This is possibly their worst song ever.
• Deftones' "Bloody Cape" -- What the fuck are they doing here?
• Thursday's "I Wanna Hear Another Fast Song" -- These guys are just gay, gay, gay and write sorry-ass lyrics.
• Avenged Sevenfold's "Burn It Down" -- all the talk about these guys being "hardcore" is a lie.
• Billy Talent's "Red Flag" -- This unreleased track recalls some old school punk spirit! It is worth not deleting from my iPod.
• Rise Against's "Give It All" -- It is another tolerable punk track, but still something about them irks.
• Fear Before the March of Flames' "Should Have Stated in the Shallows" -- This wins the award for most-emocore name.

If I were 17, this compilation might reflect the soundtrack of my misery. But I'm 27, and this music does nothing for me but make me feel old. So I guess it's time to make some tea and put on Bad Religion.

You can contact the author at: jacob@agouti.com

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